This is what I woke up to this morning:
A few things to note:
I will ‘fuck and suck any dick’ (can’t take credit for that snappy rhyming, unfortunately) BUT CALL ME ANYWAY.
My ex (Olive Garden, in this case) is a ‘nasty fucker.’ OOPS. Warn me next time, okay Aubrey’s fake tumblr? Come on, help a dirty cunt out.
I’m ‘fucked up crazy’ which is flattering, frankly, because it means they’ve read at least one of my posts.
I have a ‘slick nastly clit’ which sounds kind of sexy so MAKE UP YOUR MIND, AM I TERRIBLE OR NOT? Please let me know (mail@vaginadrum.com) because I think once you get past the smell, we could really get along.
Now, for a few facts:
No one can ever shame me for having a vagina. It’s absolutely not possible. I’m sorry I wasn’t built to be ashamed of what I am, even if that does involve having a ‘nasty smelling cunt.’ I encourage additional attempts, however. Fail better, you know, all of that.
Whoever created this gem is someone I know. Someone who knows my full name, my ex’s full name, where my parents live (one of the omitted tags) and the fact that I spent time with ‘Pizza.’
All things considered though, a name change to Vagina Drun would be cool.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m sure you are now really pleased with yourself about setting that google alert for Vagina Drun.
Also, why do you being “fucked up crazy” and having a “slick nasty clit” have to be on the opposite ends of the sexy spectrum?
If you find out who they are (and it’s not a robot), I will fuck them up. Seriously. I will.
I am not happy that this happened to you, but your commentary cracked me the eff up. Thanks for handling something so lame with such clever snark. More power to you.
sounds like some guy lied to a woman to fuck her, then went off to fuck other women. then, she figured it out and is pissed off at you. she needs to be honest about being fucked over by the liar and not you. he needs a goddamn warning label so women will know not to fuck this guy unless they really don’t care about their health. you know, like everyone that smokes and ignores the Surgeon General’s warning on the side of the box.
i like cheetos.
Jesus. What the hell?
Wow, so much bile. Good come-backs, Aubrey. And I know how a clit can be slick, but how can it be nasty?!? I find them quite nice.
Not “nasty”, Mark. “Nastly”.
Dang! Failed to identify as an adverb! Must have been the non-standard word order.
fake tumblr with lame-o and obviously by jealousy inspired immature insults? classy!
Lmao!! Wow so much anger so little time.. I’m amazed u bother to retort it. I will say though if the guy is gonna come at u he needs to learn to stay focused, he’s all over the place. Kinda sad he didn’t have the balls to tell u this to your face. Course then we wouldn’t get to laugh at it for all eternity. Thx 2 u www. Cheers Aubrey eff him