Someone on Twitter expressed disappointment in me today. My initial thought was, “Mom?” But I quickly realized that this was coming from a guy who lives “near St. Louis” which really means, “the closest supermarket is 35 miles away and is actually a gas station.”
I’m thinking, “Oh, he’s probably disappointed because he, too, wanted to start a website dedicated to adult diapers and artificially sweetened snacks. I get that.” But to be sure, I ask him.
And bless his urban dictionary heart, because he promptly responds with:
So now Mr. Best Buy Credit Card wants to start doling out critiques just because I go to one of those asshole banks that don’t accept prolonged giggling as legal tender. But just before I begin the process of canceling my accounts, I see he has concluded with the decree that paying for things with people money does, however, “make sense.” What a relief. Although, this is the same guy who also thought a Best Buy credit card made sense so I’m still feeling pretty insecure at this point.
He must’ve detected my, “Why was I even born” themed pity party and followed up with this:
Wait a minute. Not that nice? Okay so he’s mistaking, “accurate” for “nice.” I don’t claim to be able to understand this brand of myopia, but I do feel the need to apologize for ruining his fantasy that my body maintains itself by recycling the same Aristocrats joke. It’s unfortunate, really, because I clearly don’t make any money from writing Vagina Drum.
Even so, I’m at least able to pay my bills on time. Which is more than I can say for my new friend.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
What an idiot! He’s so disappointed that you’re not a member of the idle rich doing all the stuffs on the intrawebs just to stave off the ennui. Most creative endeavours like humour and websites are made by people wanting to get acknowledgement and even paid for it. He’s a prat with too much vitriol and too little intelligence, possibly due to living too far from a supermarket to get adequate nutrition.
Starting a blog to make money is like eating Chipotle to not get diarrhea.