No one has ever been able to either spell or pronounce my name upon meeting me for the first time and in most cases, six months after that. Well aside from my mom, on occasion, but she’s obligated since she’s the one who gave me this verbal jockstrap of a name in the first place. I’ve gotten everything from Abry to Obree, and while all of those give me the same queasy feeling I had when I slowly realized that the porn I borrowed from my best friend in high school was actually about a step-dad fucking his step-daughter and oh my god he gets off to this and we share cheese fries at lunch, ‘Audrey’ is what ultimately makes me dig my nails in my palms and force a polite ‘I think I have a hemorrhoid’ smile.
When asked for my name at a coffee shop or cafe, I typically offer something short that couldn’t possibly be maimed in the way that I’ve become accustomed. Jen, Amy, and Kim are in the rotation right now, among others, but I’ll stop there and let Lou Bega have the monopoly on setting a Hooters employee schedule to music and claiming it as a creative process. Usually these names are ones I lusted after as a child because of their ability to be put in anyone’s mouth and, assuming they know at least half of the alphabet, not come out looking like boiled dog food.
There are times, however, when I forget or just simply want to amuse myself by learning all the new ways that my name can be turned into something Cookie Monster might say. But today, as I sat down with my $4 cup of justification to leech as much wireless and electricity as I want, I noticed that nothing was out of place. There was no missing ‘e’, no added syllables, and no reason for me to break their display case and carve my name into all of the pastries.
Now thoroughly on my way to developing superstition, I began retracing my steps so I could duplicate these results and abandon my life as ‘Audrey’ forever. Turns out it’s pretty simple – all I need is someone who can read and a credit card boasting an accurate spelling of ‘Aubrey.’
I’m still not optimistic.
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Haven’t had much problems here meself (although the Québécois sensitive may ask if I spell it with a ‘c’). But I really want to get others peoples names right–and wince in sympathy when people get them wrong (I have a friend named “Kirstin” who suffers a lot of this even from people who’ve known her a while).
Aubrey is a wonderful name. And very memorable, even beyond your wonderful self.
Traditional name of the Earls of Oxford. And then there’s Sir John Aubrey, 17th century antiquary and discoverer of Stonehenge’s Aubrey holes.
I think I just “fell in love” with you all over again since I discovered your website a while back. I get a total mental hard-on for unusual girl names.
I have had the same experience with my name. Jocelyn is easily butcherable. The O in my name usually gets replaced with an A and I get referred to as Jaclyn. I’ve given up correcting people who I won’t see on a daily basis because people tend to get huffy like I named myself something odd just to spite them. Heh.
Oh my god! Someone else who has a nom de coffee house! Mine is Jane.