I bought a cupcake shake last night from Burger King. I didn’t get a picture of it because there isn’t a camera in existence that would’ve been able to capture it in the time before it was devoured. The cupcake shake mimics the taste of cake batter, but the best part is that you don’t have to worry about getting salmonella or diarrhea from the raw eggs (well…it’s Burger King so you probably still do BUT it’s totally worth it). There’s a dollop of whipped cream with sprinkles on top and what I think is ACTUAL CAKE at the bottom. Oh and it comes with what they call a ‘BK Pipe’ (straw) which is about the size of a hot dog. Full disclosure? I’m typing with one hand right now.
I had to fight for this shake. My boyfriend was skeptical and so was hesitant to take the plunge with me. But cake and I are total buds and since I’ve never been let down by anything that tastes like it, my faith didn’t waver. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Can we get a cupcake shake from Burger King?
Him: No, we have to eat dinner first.
Me: Ok, well can we go after dinner?
Him: Maybe.
Me: Ok so we’ll go after dinner.
Him: We’ll go a few hours after dinner.
Me: NO, AS SOON AS DINNER IS FINISHED. AS SOON AS WE PUT OUR FORKS DOWN.
Him: But we’ll be full from dinner.
Me: I’ll break everything you love and make you watch.
Conclusion? I was inhaling my shake within the hour. The point is – I know how to negotiate. Sure, I have to resort to petty threats and sometimes even pretend I have a gun, but I get results.
In a related and less violent note, I’ve been nominated in the 2009 Weblog Awards for Best Humor Blog. When I see shit like this I usually have an in-depth conversation with myself about the nerve of some people to ask me to stop refreshing Twitter for the 52nd time in the last half hour to leave the page and click on something else. Then I’ll egg myself on to say something and finally take these people to task, but talk myself out of it so I can listen to ‘Candy Rain’ again. So I know it’s a pain in the ass. But you have until November 20th to click here and vote by clicking the green button next to this comment:
I’m dropping all my weapons. I couldn’t ever threaten any of you because honestly, I love you more than cake.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I don’t think there are any words really adequate to describe the union of cake and ice cream to make cake batter/birthday cake ice cream. now that it is possible to enjoy this through a straw, i’m pretty much surrendering any prayer of getting back into my “skinny pants” and may be investing in a beer helmet to modify for the purposes of faster cake consumption.
also i love you, too. maybe not more than cake.
you might be my role model.
If that’s the case, I’m proud of it.
So my hypothetical girlfriend (hypothetical because I don’t know what to call a friendship between members of the same sex other than a tease) and I read your blog quite frequently. Not frequently enough for people to think we have given up all hope on humanity and showering, just you know, a once a day kind of thing. We read this post and immediately called our own local Burger King. They were out of shake mix and could not service us the way we wanted despite many promises of hard copy porn and blowjobs. We ended up driving an additional 7 minutes to the next closest BK and let me tell you, I have never came so much, nor have I ever saw so many people resembling Eliza Thornberry or sporting Whoopi Goldberg dreads in a closed environment. My point being, thank you so much, I love you too, and sorry about all the weird Google Analytics.
Opposite sex, you moron.
You already played your hand. Damage done.
Yeah Bill is right, you have to be gay now. Them’s the rules.
ANYWAY yes I’m so glad you decided to try the cupcake shake. It’s the closest you’ll ever get to a near death experience, so way to survive.
Destiny accepted.
They do not have this cake shake at the BK’s here. However I have found something I LOVE that will make your toes tingle. There’s this local joint, Java Cat, that makes cake batter gelato!