I call bullshit on this guy

ohgod

OK, so Mother wouldn’t help him put his hilarious Halloween costume together. Now he’s waving his dick around like a gun, holding the entire internet hostage until someone lonely enough accepts his offer to mix some “stuff.”  I mean, I didn’t get invited to any Halloween parties this year (don’t worry, these are happy tears), but I have to think that if I did, then I would have enough friends to help me make a lifelike mold of my genitals. That is how friendship works…right?

Anyway, I’ve assisted in making a penis mold. The only difference is that it wasn’t kind of kit where you can make a usable (or chocolate) replica of your penis, because I chose the cheap route and bought one of those precious memories kits from a craft store. So instead of a baby’s foot or prayer hands, I got a ceramic dick that was at least 2/3 of the way to pleasure town. But that’s not the point.

The point is that I had to perform a sex triathlon to keep my dude at the time hard enough to get my $15 worth. It wasn’t easy and I’m pretty sure one of those soft-core Showtime pornos where everyone is dressed like Charles Darwin only sexier was playing in the background as I touched myself like I was on fire. So there’s more than mixing involved. Oh and I love his preference to have a girl who won’t “freak if by chance they saw anything.” Yeah, because what are the chances that I would see your dick while you are MAKING A MOLD OF YOUR DICK.

But whatever – you don’t have to do anything “nausty” (except, you know, maybe penetrate him with the finished product) and there’s probably some free Long John Silver’s in it for you.

So…ladies?

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

ben October 23, 2009 at 9:38 am

How do you even FIND an add like that…
priceless

Reply

Taylor October 23, 2009 at 10:01 am

I laughed so hard when I saw this. This guy… my god. If he’s not looking for sex, why ask for women? If it’s purely for a gag (hah… gag… penis… anyway) Halloween gift, what’s the big deal if another dude, totally comfortable with his sexuality, helps? And why doesn’t he have any friends of his own? So many questions I hope I never have answered.

Reply

Michelle October 23, 2009 at 5:38 pm

Getting penetrated with a mold of your own penis would really be taking narcissism to a whole new level…

Reply

Robin October 23, 2009 at 8:05 pm

My ex did this for me as a funny gift that ended up being awesome, but he was able to make the replica without anyone else’s help. Bullshit has been called. You are correct.

Reply

Claire October 27, 2009 at 9:43 am

This ad is perfect as an example of educational material we lesbians hand out at our secret recruitment meetings.

“That’s right, girls, this is what’s out there waiting for you. Still ‘confused,’ or do you just wanna pair up now?”

Reply

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