I talk about being unemployed a lot. Part of this is because I have this idea that if I seem really sad, then someone will read this and give me a job where I play video games, eat pizza flavored Pringles and make snarky comments about Brooke Hogan. The other part is that I’m unemployed, so when I am playing video games, eating pizza flavored Pringles and making snarky comments about Brooke Hogan, I have a lot of time on my hands to think about how I can’t possibly stand one more day of this.
As a side effect, I get handfuls of emails asking me why I don’t have ads because I could totally monetize my blog. By monetize I’m sure they mean, ‘Spend years waiting to exceed Google’s $100 minimum so you can finally buy those Air Jordans’ but whatever. Usually, I’m asked what kind of traffic I get (I’m assuming in order to determine whether I can make .10 or .40 a day), and somehow, it never stops feeling like instead, I’m being asked to wear a mesh thong for 24 hours and send it off in a Ziploc bag in exchange for pictures of someone jerking off into it.
Either way, I don’t have ads on VD because I hate them. It’s not about being anti-corporation or anti anything, really. It comes down simply to the fact that I actually read my own blog (douche) and sometimes I even giggle so I’d rather not be distracted when I’m trying to think about how many more times I can get away with mentioning Boyz II Men. My writing is the only tool I have to reconcile the reality that my life is mine, no matter how many times it deviates from the plan I originally mapped out, and I would be wasting everyone’s time if I were motivated by making $2.50 a month. The thing is, I don’t care about attracting the hundreds of visitors who come here searching for pictures of my cunt, but I definitely care about that one person who comes here to read about what I have to say when it comes to Jesus themed porn.
There’s understandably a lot of opposition to ads dealing mostly with how they are kind of like a mix of Insane Clown Posse’s Greatest Hits and the stench of Mickey Rourke’s weave in your internet all the time. There’s even a collection of tasteful icons you can display on your blog, proclaiming to everyone that you are “opposed to the use of corporate advertising on blogs”, “feel the use of corporate advertising on blogs devalues the medium”, and “do not accept money in return for advertising space…” If I ever decide to submit completely to the fact that I’m full of shit, maybe I’ll put an ad on my blog proclaiming that I don’t condone ads on my blog. Until then, I can only promise two things–I will never try to sell you weight loss pills or funny but not really t-shirts, and when I inevitably swallow a dick with my ass, I will take copious mental notes throughout so I can share every single detail.
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You can enjoy ICP and being unemployed w/o the Faygo aka paint thinner.. before you know it you’ll be drinking Genny Light
I’m very amused by the irony of adfreeblog.org’s icons that advertise their organization’s campaign and link back to their website. I know they have some kind of high-concept artist’s statement to explain away the hypocrisy, but it’s still amusing.
Right? It’s like…OK maybe your India ink illustration doesn’t have a huge vag on it but it’s…still an ad.