SILS: My Skin Needs Help

Neutrogena Rapid Clear 2-in-1 Fight & Fade Gel:

I don’t have much of a skin regimen. I probably should so I don’t end up with a turkey neck or something, but I’m usually too tired to care about dealing with cotton balls, toners, lotions and elixirs containing rare essential oils from the skin of a mongoose. So, that’s probably why I had a planet on my forehead the other day. Usually, I wouldn’t care too much, because I rarely see the light of day as it is, but my boyfriend’s parents were coming into town and I panicked, not wanting them to think their son’s girlfriend has leprosy. To give you an idea of how bad it was, when I walked out of the bathroom after wishing I was never born, my boyfriend shrieked, “WHAT HAPPENED?” and after confirming that it wasn’t a bullet wound, said, “You really are a unicorn.” Once I castrated him for making me feel uglier than John Goodman’s ass hair, I applied some Neutrogena Rapid Clear and went to bed. The next day, my planet was still there, but at least it had shrunk to down to a manageable sized Mercury from its original Jupiter-like proportions. It did dry my skin out, so I wouldn’t recommend using it for your entire face, just when you sprout a boil like I did.

Kiss My Face Peaches & Creme Moisturizer:

I’ve only recently started using lotion, because I’ve found that I feel fucking sexy when I scrub my body down with my homemade salt scrub and generously apply lotion afterward. I want to keep this feeling alive, so I’ve gotten into the habit of doing this on a daily basis. I began using Kiss My Face Peaches & Creme lotion on my face because the 4% alpha-hydroxy content aids in exfoliation, which is good for me because my skin is too sensitive for scrubs and exfoliating cleansers. I started using it on my body and found in didn’t sting like some other lotions I’ve tried, plus I love the scent. Also, it’s paraben free, which awakens the incense burning hippy in me.

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