I hope I’m not in the minority when I say that period sex is fucking amazing. Being on my period triples my sex drive, so I go from wanting sex twice a day, to wanting it six times a day. It’s as if Rick Moranis has engineered some sort of ray gun for my already hyper-active pussy, freaks out, and yells, “Honey, I blew up your libido”.
I know this may not be a popular opinion to have. I also know that it may be even less popular to tell you that I thoroughly enjoy oral on my period. I’ll go even further and tell you that what I really enjoy is when a guy eats his own…spunk…out of me while I sit on his face. So, now that I am the most unpopular person on the internet, I’ll say that I do understand that many women hate having sex on their periods. I think this could be because they:
1. Feel like shit.
2. Don’t know any men or women who are willing to get their feet wet (or tongues, whatever).
3. Have been given the idea that having a period is like having a terminal illness, only way more gross.
I can’t help with the first two. I could be in the middle of a tornado and still want to fuck. Admittedly, I don’t feel great when I’m on my period, but somehow, sex always makes me forget the fact that it feels like a large rodent is burrowing through my uterus. Plus, “Do you like period sex?” happens to be part of my screening process when looking for new dating potential, and I usually ask that right before, “If you could be any character on Saved By the Bell, who would you be?”. If the answer is “Yes” to the first and anything aside from “A.C. Slater’s wrestling uniform”, then I’m usually interested.
However, I have an issue with the third because it’s bullshit. I’m not so far gone that I refer to my period as my moon cycle, but I do take offense that period has become synonymous with condition. The pharmaceutical industry has picked up where religious and medical texts have left off in disseminating the concept that women are unclean, unstable, and simply expelling debris during menstruation. PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) is the latest attempt to make me feel that I need to medicate myself because I cry when I’m out of salt and vinegar potato chips.
Here are some WARNING SIGNS that you may be afflicted with PMDD from Facts for Health. (Also, notice the profound quote at the top that reads, don’t let the rain ruin the journey):
Do you have unpleasant, disturbing emotional and physical symptoms before your monthly menstrual periods? Do these symptoms disrupt your life and interfere with your usual activities and your relationships with others? Do the symptoms go away when your flow begins or shortly thereafter, only to return before your next period?
This sounds like it was written by the same person who does the Horoscopes for Cosmo. For example, “As a Sagittarius, you are predisposed to be strong, beautiful, and sassy. December may bring a few disappointments, but don’t worry, your natural born resilience will rocket you straight to success…and into the bed of that hottie you’ve been eyeing 
” It’s written in such a way that just about anyone could relate–even if you have a dick. Just replace “before your monthly menstrual periods” with “before you’ve eaten dinner” and you’ve got yourself one prophetic Mad Lib.
Treatment for PMDD involves the following:
There are now four prescription drugs that have been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for treating the condition. These FDA-approved medications are fluoxetine (Sarafem), paroxetine controlled-release (Paxil CR), and sertraline (Zoloft), together with drospirenone/ethinyl estradiol oral contraceptive (YAZ).
Don’t let Sarafem’s skillfully marketed name fool you–it’s just repackaged Prozac. I’ve never taken or even seen Sarafem pills, but my guess is that they are stamped with fun and feminine prints like shoes and iced grande skinny caramel macchiatos. Oh, and the best part is–the FDA issued an alert against Sarafem claiming that it could trigger, “Suicidal Thoughts or Actions in Children and Adults”. Paxil CR and Zoloft, despite their ‘non habit-forming’ claims, are just the opposite and like Sarafem, boast a list of side effects that includes nausea, dizziness, headache, insomnia, diarrhea, and decreased sex drive.
I guess that’s better than being a total bitch when you’re on the rag though, am I right?
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
PREACH GIRL
this is a good post. needed. just a flat out description of how something appeals to you. with some emphasis on lunacy previously devoted to stripping any woman’s sexuality from her. I like your calling out the ‘facts for health’. you have a full frontal body conversational voice. I like that. you speak about sexuality, life, physical experiences, in matter-of-fact terms. some humility mixed in and you always tie your points together. today’s was nice, because you brought in the propaganda and their pseudo-science held them up to the light of day. and you don’t take a vicious tack, you just let their ridiculous claims hang themselves.
there is this assumption in the MSM lately, especially in the political arena, that balanced means equal time from all parties, even if some are completely insane. sometimes, balanced means from a sane mind. if the emperor is buck ass nekkid, then balanced reporting is not to interview the tailor that sold the suit as well as those that claim the emperor is nekkid. balanced means asking 10 people, getting ‘nekkid’ as an answer and saying that the emperor is nekkid. period. (sic)
so, VD. nicely played. on the green in two strokes, 20′ putt for birdie.
…
I’ll go even further and tell you that what I really enjoy is when a guy eats his own…spunk…out of me while I sit on his face. that needs to be said. plenty of women like that already. many secretly crave it and most are denied. I think that women crave it. not all, mind you, but the ones that do…well, they’re up against a problem
the men they’re fucking are programmed to avoid semen – to avoid “gayness”.
so, two things come into play. the women that do get ‘into’ their vaginas – the fluids, the feelings, the experiences, the smells. they are pariahs because society and advertising have women running around with a bucket of cleaning solvents, scrubbing their cunts like the tile floor of an all white kitchen. on top of that, the men who provide semen are running away from getting their faces anywhere near pussy juice, period blood, cum or ass juice.
it’s a sexual train-wreck of patriarchal manipulation.
Wow – I’ve never gotten a woody from reading something, I love period sex.