I hate hippies. This is because most of them have iPods and think that buying a pair of TOMS will change the world. Despite this, I can get down on some things that are really crunchy.
I haven’t met a Bear Naked granola that I don’t like. It has been part of my morning routine for a long time now, and if I plan my life responsibly (meaning, I don’t stay up until 3 am watching reruns of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air), I can have enough time to mix it with yogurt. Since that almost never happens (damn you, Carlton), I end up grabbing the whole bag and deep throating it on my way to whatever obligation I wish I could ditch in favor of hanging out in my underwear and watching Spaghetti Cat on repeat. Bear Naked granola is actually a lot like an Egg McMuffin in that it’s filling, portable, and quick, but unlike an Egg McMuffin because it won’t cause you to punch extra holes in your belt.
I know it may seem like I have a penchant for sitting on my ass, but exercising is second only to orgasming when it comes to my daily checklist. I don’t mention it much because talking about grinding the seat of a stationary bike isn’t that interesting. Ok, maybe it is, but I’ll get to that later. I keep up a rotation of spinning and yoga, but hiking is what I truly love. Last year, I went to New Mexico and for one week, hiked and ate nothing but Clif bars. If I could’ve found an electrical outlet to plug in my magic wand, I probably never would’ve left. The reason I single out Chaco Canyon is because it’s historical, cheap and I got my pussy eaten while I was there. Check.
Burt’s Bees Replenishing Lip Balm with Pomegranate Oil:
I was introduced to Burt’s Bees years ago, and remember using a lip balm with peppermint oil that made me look like Tyrone Biggums. I shied away from the product line after that, but was re-introduced to what is now a staple–Burt’s Bees Lip Balm with Pomegranate Oil. I don’t wear lipstick, but I am an avid lip balm collector. The Burt’s Bees with pomegranate is the best I’ve found because it doesn’t dry out or get sticky, and it gives my lips a subtle red tint that can only be achieved by giving a blowjob or drinking cherry Kool-Aid.
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My life is spent watching Nick @ Nite. When Fresh Prince comes on I know there’s no way I’ll make it to bed before 4 (not as if I would otherwise)… George Lopez is amazing too.