Despite repeated failed attempts in the past, I went porn surfing again today.
Passio didn’t leave me with an orgasm, but it did leave me with a new respect for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Since this is a gay porn, an unnatural portion of it is spent displaying the flair of the interior decorator, but if you want to avoid the closeups of the velvet drapes, gilded candlesticks, and complementary color schemes, skip to 1:12 when Jesus with a boner escapes from the cross and rims another man. Yeah, I said it.
It was like watching a three-ring circus. Do I watch the two guys pouring red wine over each other and licking it off, Jesus getting sucked off on the cross, or John the Baptist bottom for Judas? It was a lot to take in, and I don’t even have a dick.
While this doesn’t even begin to rank among some of the terrible porn I’ve seen, it did lead me to an interesting search query. Christian porn. These terms may seem contradictory to one another, like well-adjusted ICP fan or abstinence only education, but it lead me to a very interesting site called, Sex In Christ, which I suspect was one of the names the producers threw out before landing on, “Passio”. Sex In Christ tells you everything you need to know about what isn’t kosher in Christian sex and covers topics such as oral sex, anal sex, threesomes, and Viagra, along with a question and answer section that is absolute fucking gold.
Did I wake up today expecting to read a page titled, “Fisting and God’s Will“? No, but I didn’t expect to see Jesus’ O-face, either.
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Pure. Fucking. Gold.
I live for the express purpose of finding proof that people are freaks.
You are on the fast track to my inner circle of bat-shit crazy proof seekers.
-gadfly