If you’re like me, you listen to New Order’s Age of Consent on repeat for 12 hours, secretly wish that you could’ve been gang banged by every member of Boyz II Men, and have an extensive library of cat macros saved on your desktop that you are embarrassed about to the point that if anyone wants to borrow your computer, you shriek, “NO…I…I AM PLANNING A SURPRISE FOR YOU DON’T LOOK.” This means that you also love to indulge in a messy and destructive scandal.
Rolling Stone recently published a story about a fifteen-year old “star athelete” and his involvement with the “hottest teacher at school” and, for those of you still hanging on to the Borat phenomenon, I trust that you belted out your best “Very nice”, while those of you with taste most likely recoiled. I refuse to synopsize the story because it is nine delicious pages of Melrose Place grade theatrics, but essentially, teenage boy+ female teacher=sex + pipe dreams – integrity= broken promises √ 6 years later the kid is really fucked up (a slap on the wrist for the teacher involved) ², plus or minus ~.5.
Now please feel free to immerse yourself in the sex, betrayal and inevitable shock when you find out that not all female gym teachers are carpet munchers.